Welcome to Optimistically Average - Ciiku’s random monthly newsletter.
Why “Optimistically Average?”
I know I wanted to have “Average” in the title but couldn’t firm up what else. “The Cusp of Average” “Average Intentions” were some of the contenders considered.
As for Optimistic? … We all know I am far from optimistic. However, I was in traffic and this song came on. It made me smile, I took it as Kismet.
And here we are.
What do you write when the people who read your blog, follow you on Instagram and pretty much consume your thoughts in other ways are the same ones who sign up for the newsletter?
Lately I have been thinking about how to remain soft in a world that beats me up in a myriad of ways, a world that questions the choices I make because I do not conform. The option to become constantly angry, on my toes, unnecessarily callous, mean etc seems the easier path.
There is so much ugliness and meanness in the world and it doesn’t sit well with my soul to contribute to it. I continue to tell myself that to remain soft is my desire.
How do I do it you might be wondering? I haven’t achieved the softness I quite desire but I am working on these things:
Solitude.
Managing my expectations
I do not carry other people’s emotions - especially their anger (warranted or not).
I do not over or understate myself. I think one of the things I have realised about self awareness is how much we massage our egos especially overstating our “goodness”. There is a lot of theory out there on how to “be” people be knowing… but what they do? Different story.
etc, xyz.
Do you have music you listen to when you are feeling a type of way.
Sam and Ruby - This I Know.
FYI, their album The Here and Now is one of my most favourite albums. EVER. When I am feeling angsty, it is a go to album. It calms me. And November had it’s moments and this album came through, just as it’s always done since I discovered it in 2006.
I finished reading Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows which I quite enjoyed and have shared with a couple of people. There is a plot twist at the end I wasn’t ready for and ended up screaming in the house and Kuria thought I had fallen or something.
I started reading Conflict is not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair because my friend suggested it and let’s see how it goes.
I am not going to achieve my reading goals this year (As of this newsletter I have read 60 books of a target of 90 books). I am not feeling any type of way about it. It is what it is. To be honest, I will probably keep the same goal in the coming year. I am considering being part of a book club but I haven’t reconciled with the idea yet. I know myself after all. Anyway, if you are on goodreads you can see the books I’ve read here.
Finally
Thank you guys for signing up for this newsletter and reading. If you want to let me know anything just respond to the email containing this newsletter.
Happy December and see you at the end of it.