I was telling a friend how I do not allow myself to be vulnerable while journaling. It is either fear of someone reading my thoughts and also an inability to put what I am thinking down on paper. I am very mysterious in my writing. I say a lot without saying much (even when writing this newsletter) - I don’t really put myself out there even to myself.
When I started journaling back in my youth, my mum read my diary and I think that began my suspicion of people reading what I wrote (she told me she’d read that I felt adopted - I am a middle child so this type of thought is par the course).
Is that when it started? The whole being mysterious? And even if that is the case how haven't I moved on from that? Journaling is helpful, that much has been proven but it can only be so if we are truthful (especially gratitude journaling). And no amount of being leaving thoughts in my head is doing me any good.
Do you journal? What would you advice me to do with this road block I am having?
This video really hit a spot with me and I suggest you watch it.
navel-gazing
Definition of navel-gazing
: useless or excessive self-contemplation
There are times when we can be too contemplative, introspective, always questioning yourself and things you do and say and whatnot. And I am not saying we shouldn’t, we definitely should. But like with almost everything, too much of it is not good. Dangerous even. I am reminded of how people explain their feelings as opposed to feeling their feelings for example.
And beyond all this, as the video posits - are we becoming better people? Are we accepting of ourselves?
I also have a working hypothesis that the hyper focus on “self” in some way keeps us away from working towards creating and maintaining community - which in my opinion - is one of the ways this world can be better.