There is a dude whose TikTok page is about buying film and tapes in auctions and seeing those pictures/videos of people during decades past makes me more acutely aware of the insignificance of existing in this world (yes I made it about me).
Why is “But I love him” made to seem as though it is a reasonable excuse/reason to withstand abuse and terrible behaviour? I believe it is somewhat because we are in the age of romanticism and additionally, we don’t know/understand what love should be but SURELY - are we learning nothing? You have been crying for 5 years… That's love? That makes sense to you?
In the same vein, religion also espouses the message that a loving god makes you suffer for his own reasons. I think people internalise this message and accept the same from those in their lives.
The yearning children have for closer relationships with parents is because we see them as the people who gave us life, our creators as it were - how can they not want to have an intimate relationship with us? Personally, I think it is impossible to achieve this closeness when said parents don't see their children as individuals, a person separate from them, with their own existence (as opposed to an extension of themselves). Also sometimes parents don't like their children especially as they become adults so closeness can never work out. I think in adulthood it is important and beneficial to ask yourself whether you also like your parent(s), as individuals, beyond their utility as your parent
And let me just say, the only person who can say someone was/is a good parent is the child of said parent. All the hogwash and the reasoning behind saying “I did the best” etc is BS.
You can respect your parents for everything they’ve given you, but you don’t have to pretend they have no human frailties.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C Gibson
Judy Brady’s Essay I Want a Wife.
You assume when you are younger that as you grow older you will become more certain about yourself, life etc. And then you age and realise you aren't. And you look around and again realise that no one knows what they are doing.
We look around and see people doing some things and wonder "should I also be doing these things?" I think the more important question is "Do I want these things?”
I think, more than anything, we need to approach life with curiosity. And allow ourselves to imagine what it could be. Expansiveness.
While knowing that life is messy, you still expect tidiness from your own.
I met someone I hadn't talked to in years and he told me that I taught him how to be a good friend and that shit enraged me. I will not be explaining why.
Recently my mother was talking about how when I was in high school I wrote her a letter asking for a DNA test because I was convinced I was adopted as I didn't feel loved. This explains a lot.
Human beings are more important than economic development. It seems like we are forgetting.